I'd like to change my LJ username. Not sure yet, but I've been thinking of a new one for some time, my current one is plain boring!
I don't what I want it to be like, but can anyone give me some ideas? It can have my name in it, but it doesn't have to.
I just want a new and interesting username.
Ideas?

I want to say a huge thanks to all of you that have read and commented on my last entry :)
That means alot to me!
I'm feeling alot better in the last few days!
And I got really happy because of one thing... Franz Ferdinand will be in my city on the 21st of march and I'm almost sure I will go to their concert :D

IDK why but things just don't seem right to me right now.
I've been so moody! At this morning I was all happy, cheerful and excited, now I'm just depressed and wishing I could disappear.
There are only 2 people that really listen to what I have to say and try to give me advice. Not relatives. Two friends, true ones. But they don't even know about my eating disorder... I just can't tell them. Will I ever find someone that really cares about me? It feels as if I was completely worthless.
I feel worthless.
I wish there was someone who could really talk to me. Please, leave me a comment or anything. IDC if we hardly ever talk, I just need a friend. I need to feel alive.

It's been official for some months now. But I hadn't told you, so now I'm gonna say it: I have eating disorders.
In the past few months, I didn't get rid of those unhealthy diet habits and that stuff, also didn't stop purging. So everything got much worse. I dropped to 40 kilograms(90 pounds) at 162cm(that's between 5'3'' and 5'4''), with a BMI of 15,6. Then everyone obviously noticed something was very wrong with me. I got into recovery, and got out of it when I was at a healthy weight again, around 50 kilograms(110 pounds), but I obviously thought I was too fat, so two weeks after that I started eating less and less and purging again :(
I've already lost 4 kilograms of all the weight I gained during recovery. I currently have a BMI of 17,5. That's already underweight. I can't go a week without purging excessively... it's sad. IDK why this doesn't stop. Everyday I eat the way I'm supposed to, I feel depressed and throw up. Two weeks ago I did it 13 times in only one day. But the worst of it is: I can vomit everything but my pain.
It doesn't matter how much I throw up or don't eat, the pain is always there.
People don't understand me. They have no idea about how I feel. There are days that I am actually happy and forget about all this... but then I look at the mirror and feel weak... It feels like I'm going to die. I feel completely lost and alone and worthless.

OMG, can't believe I've been THAT long without uptading this!...
Sorry guys! My computer had a problem(many actually!) and had to be fixed and I spend a long period without it! I missed you all! I hope at least someone will remember who I am, LOL.
COMMENT IF YOU STILL REMEMBER ME AND WANT TO KEEP IN MY FRIENDS LIST TO CONTINUE READING MY ENTRIES!

Hi there... it's been a while since the last time I posted something here! I really wanted to have posted sooner but I was traveling(dad's hometown, a tiny place in the middle of nowhere, LOL). But here I am!
Every sunday I'll post "Fashion ideas in colour", a post which will contain pieces of clothes, accessories and that stuff in only one colour. Today I chose blue. I've noticed that blue is a colour which I wear alot, although it's not intentionally.
IDK why but lots of people I know find blue a boring colour. There are actually some shades of blue that I don't find that interesting, such as navy blue. But other shades amaze me, such as turquoise.
Blue is a calm and pretty colour. You might say "I hate blue", but who doesn't have a blue piece of clothing? No one. Even if you hate this colour, you must love that old blue jeans of yours!

Delicated romantic blouse.
My style is quite romantic, so I love this kind of blouse! Unfortunately IDK where it is from...
here is a photo of me wearing it:


I don't usually wear skirts. Actually, I wear them hardly ever. But there is one of mine that I love so much, and guess its colour? Blue, obviously.

It's from Zara.


Blue accessories. The little backpack is very sporty and cute, I bought it at a street market actually. You can find similar ones in many shops and of course street markets!

Blue Avon eyeshadows! 

Blouse, Jacket(M. officer), Shirt(Zara), Blue Jeans(Evidence), Sleeveless shirt.
xxxxx
Clara
 

Hi... you must think I've simply forgotten my LJ, but in fact I haven't. It's just that I don't feel like posting, you see...
But everything is okay! My grades are excellent, friendships are going well, and I'm dealing really well with that weight issue I told you about. Eventually that stupid and unecessary issue is going away.
I've been posting alot on my flickr photostream, my photography is improving! I'd love if you could see some of my photos at www.flickr.com/brunettebarbie :)
xxxx
Clara

time is flying. too fast. it's running out.